I quit.

April 28, 2017 by NJPainter

Big news: I left my job.

After (almost) 10 years at my entertainment publicity gig, today will be my last day.
The initial resignation was actually scarier and sadder than I thought it might be. But even that was met with a cemented feeling that this is right.

This job was never me. I took it because I was 23 and it paid double what my editorial assistant job did. I stayed because I loved my bosses. And for a brief moment, I reached what for some might be the pinnacle of public relations success (remember when I launched the most popular reality show of all time?)

But I never loved it. After time, it became a hamster wheel of repetitive process. I spent 40 hours a week giving people their 15 minutes. I found the responsibility of someone else’s beliefs to be crushing. And, I am very bad at climbing the ladder, playing the game, touting my work, getting ahead. I work hard and play nice and assume at all times that that is enough. (A true midwesterner, I know).

It’s been clear to me for a long time that I needed to create another lane for myself – but haven’t known what that was or where to find it. “If you could do ANYTHING, what would it be?!” friends would ask. But I always thought, “if I had that answer… I’d just be doing it, idiot.” It wasn’t gumption I was missing, it was an idea.

I spent years looking for and applying to jobs that I thought my experience translated to, but not one of them panned out (maybe I am just a terrible interview?) And it would be embarrassing to tell you the amount of tears shed, journal entries written and requests for otherworldly guidance that I have begged for on what I should be doing with my life. In fact, I think I have actually googled the phrase, “what should I do with my life?”

But suddenly, I got an idea to put paint on an old leather jacket.  And suddenly, I was offered a spot to put it out in the public and then, people responded to it. Suddenly, I was filled with ideas and momentum. Suddenly I saw another path.

I knew the path of my job… and it was bleak.

And I am open to the idea that this new path might not lead anywhere in the end. But I believe that it is (at the very least) in the direction of where I need to go. Nothing about the first few steps feels wrong. And it’s a path I have a lot of pride in (a feeling I have no felt professionally in years).

So. If you are one of the people who already knows this news and responded with things like: “I’m so proud of you,” “I’m so excited for you” or “I think you’ve got something here,”

Thank you.
It means everything.

You’ll see writing me here and at ChicpeaJC.com and selling my hand-painted leather goods throughout the summer.

Tell all your friends (I need the good publicity).

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